Tommy Cooper - Almost a Magician

Almost a Magician

Throughout his career, as a magician, Tommy Cooper came out with an array of funny one-liners.

"Here we have a skipping rope. So we'll skip that!"

2000 Milk Bottles

Aeroplane Seat

No Ceiling

Chinese Waiter

Cold Chicken

Stradivarius

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Frogs Legs?

One Leg Shorter

Getting Wed

Banana Ears

Headache

Homesick

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Jumbo Jet

Limerick

Cold Lobster

Poster

Meal

Whisky

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Feet Killing Me

One Leg Shorter

Water Water

Red Carpet

Bad Foot

Bike Present

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Wee Willie Winkie

Gravy

Home Two Weeks

Never Walk Alone

Bill Bailey

Faith Healer

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Bun

Majorca

Coconuts

Motorbike

Golf Ball

Horse Riding

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Humpty Dumpty

Doorstep Milk

Bank Robber

Chicken Plucker

Drive to Grave

Chicken

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Police Message

Chinese Trick

Kids

Sunbathing

Dog

My Boy

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Hole in One

Rocking Horse

Horse

Police Lump

Smoke in Bed

Antique Shop

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A Friend in Need

Best Wife

Boarding House

Barbeque

Dentist

Broken Arm

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Dog and Biscuit

Fashion

Flying to USA

On The Couch

Watching a Fly

Front Door

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Impression

Getting a Dog

Doctor Visit

Mind Over Matter

How Do You Feel?

Gregory Peck

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To Say This

Greyhound Racing

Aspirin

Magic Wand

Horse

Titanic

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All sounds on the Tommy Cooper one-liner page retain their original copyright as owned by their respective production companies. All sound files are for educational, research, criticism, or review for audio purchase purposes. This Site holds no liability from misuse of these sound files.